Wednesday, October 12, 2005

From the Big Screens into your Primetime Network Programming

Against my better judgment, I wached Freddy tonight. My bestfriend/roommate is gay and has a thing for both Freddy Prinze, Jr. and Brian Austin Green, so I did what every "friend" does and compromised my heterosexual integrity. But, just as he has no "quantifiable proof" that he is gay, I enjoy Gilmore Girls and still my own straight orientation despite being involuntarily celebate for the last three months. I stick to my pants, and catalog every low-cut cleavage shot of both Gilmore Girls in my Spank Bank. Anyway, I watched Freddy tonight and watching him pull of the sincere-playboy character he so often plays in Hollywood, chick-flicks, I wonder if this is the first identifiable sign that I am, in reality, aging.

I've heard rumors of how Hollywood actors/actresses jump from big screen to small screen until finally settling into the lower-income network television programming because their blockbuster-appearances are easily replaced by newer, younger faces that will, eventually, replace them again on television. It's a process, I've been told. This season, the truth is out there and it's not hidden at all. It's completely blatantly disrespectful.

Freddy Prinze, Jr. starts in She's All That and ends up in Freddy. Jennifer Love Hewitt from Can't Hardly Wait to Angel Whisperer. Gabrielle Union, Bad Boys 2, to Night Stalker. Michelle Rodriguez from The Fast and The Furious to Lost. What's happening here? These were supposed to be the actors/actresses that replaced Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts. To my knowledge, those icons only entered our living rooms on DVD or as Special Appearances. I understand there is a hierarchy in Hollywood that "teenage sensations" coming of age fall into, but what about the Bruce Willis affect?

I grew-up watching Bruce Willis play David Addison, Jr. on Moonlighting. When he finally turned himself to silver-screen icon, John McClane, in the Die Hard series, I thought that was the norm: one starts in television (commercial, then sit-com) and then finally becomes a "movie star." Obviously, I was as wrong, then, as I am "old" now. This is what I call the Silver Spoons affect.

Rick Schroder. Need I say more? But, there is a Doogie Howser, silver-lining. Doogie represented the over-achieving definition of Generation X. Even now, many bloggers trace their technological lineage to Doogie's signature, show-ending, computer diary. Given the time, idols can be re-made. As a supporting actor for the new sit-com, How I Met Your Mother, Neil Patrick Harris is carrying the show. The show, quite possibly, could be as "Legendary" as Friends or Seinfeld; television for the 30-minute, ADD0time-span generation. This, I believe, is the renaissance of Doogie Howser.

If Doogie does as well as I predict, then The Rock also proves to be a fallacy in my argument. He was the WWF headliner when it was still the WWF. Primetime wrestling dropped 30% of its ratings when he left to film The Mummy Returns and The Scorpian King. After the release of The Scorpian King, he was being labelled as the next American Action Hero. Still, it hasn't happened, but Doom could be the next generation action flick just as Terminator and Die Hard reminded us all of a everyday superheroes. With the apparant great direction of Andrzej Bartkowiak, the movie is filmed much like the video game is coded and with a happy, gaming audience, The Rock could finally claim ownership of the much-coveted American Action Hero title. But, what does this have to say about Freddy and company? Nothing realy except that Hollywood stars-turned network television attractions are doomed.

It's obvious Freddy Prinze, Jr. and Jennifer Love Hewitt will have to rely on their all-American good looks for the rest of their youthful lives because their acting careers are just awaiting television garbage pick-up. Gabrielle Union and Michelle Rodriguez still slightly shimmer in the spotlight, now, because they were only supporting actresses in Hollywood and remain that still on network programming. They have no where to go but up (cliche) because they are not yet identifiable personalities. They are still trying on different sizes of Hollywood's glamorous shoes. Freddy and Jennifer, well, they had their nights at the ball, and the clock is forever striking midnight.

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